Some things to contemplate approaching thirty…

I was reading the news online today and news.com.au (Australian news) posted an interesting article:

10 things women in their 20s need to get over

Read the full article as linked, but here’s the list of 10 things in point form and I’ll comment on whether or not I’ve actually gotten over this issue or not in my own life, as I only have a month or so to reach 30 myself.

1. Whether we are single or not: OVER IT

I haven’t been single for as long as I’ve been with my partner, which is around 5 or 6 years, so it doesn’t really apply, however when we weren’t engaged I did feel a great longing for a bigger commitment for a very long time. Getting married has always been one of my life goals and to finally be carving out that path with the best guy ever, is certainly something that’s gotten me wayyyyy over the anxiety of whether I’d ever find my life partner or not.

2. Whether or not we can really afford that pair of shoes: OVER IT

This is something I’ve never really had to get over because I don’t have shoe or shopping habits to be ashamed of… even though I love makeup and beauty, I wouldn’t spend an exorbitant amount of money on it if I didn’t have it to spend (not to say that I do!). For many years I was more of a bag lady anyway, but now that phase has died down. I think I own 10 pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of which I wear very, very frequently. I probably should replace them, and I probably do stress out about whether or not I can afford new shoes, but not in the Sex And The City, glamorous way.

3. Wondering if we’ll be happier/more attractive/better at life if we lose those extra five kilos: NOT OVER IT

I don’t think I’ll ever be over this, just like many (or the majority?) of girls, I have issues with body image and weight, and even when I wasn’t as big as I am now, I still felt like I could have been lighter and thus happier/more attractive/better at life.

4. Social climbing: OVER IT

Ugh, the idea of this still shits me to tears. I never prescribed to it in school and I never liked doing it at work. I wasn’t very popular as a result, but I had friends who really cared about me and who I cared about and I feel like I truly know the meaning of love and intimacy as a result. I understand there’s a need for politics and social climbing to get certain places, but I guess I’ve never felt the need to go there.

5. Why that douche bag from the pub never called you back: OVER IT

This doesn’t apply to me at all, I’d never give out my number to a douche bag at a pub to begin with even when I was single.

6. Which of your friends are engaged/getting married: OVER IT

I would have said I wasn’t over it a few months ago when I wasn’t engaged but now that I am, I feel like a huge burden of expectation has been lifted from me and I also feel deeply committed to my fiance (more than ever). I did have anxieties about this for a long time, but now he’s put a ring on it and we’re moving forward, so I’m happier than ever.

7. Meticulous planning: NOT OVER IT

I wasn’t sure whether I was over this or not because I suppose I’ve never been a meticulous planner but I’m certainly a stickler for things like being on time and having plans organised properly. I’ve got my 30th coming up which I need to plan for in terms of decorating and catering the event and then I’ve been researching and planning our wedding so I can’t slack off there. I suppose that’s the main reason why I’m not ‘over it’ because there’s so much planning to do!

8. Toxic friendships: OVER IT

I’m always very upset when I feel like I’m losing a friend or a friendship breaks down suddenly, because it’s like I lost a part of myself as a result. I really value friendship  but over the last few years a few have broken away, some amicably and others not so much. I always feel like friendships should be reciprocal, and not neccessarily identically, but rather, in an unspoken agreed way where one person gives a certain amount of something and the other person gives a certain amount of something and both people will always feel happy and secure in that friendship, knowing that there’s as much give as there is take, whether you give or take the same things or not. It’s hard for me to truly explain, but I don’t give much away of myself very lightly, and when that bond has been broken with someone I’m incredibly sad and angry to see it break down. That being said, there have been a few toxic friendships that I’m very happy to see the back of, in hindsight, because that person was talking behind my back or being disingenuous or just taking and never giving… what’s the point of letting someone treat you that way? I wouldn’t stay friends with someone like that even if they gave me other social connections because it’s such a toxic trade off. I feel like I’m selling my soul. OVER IT!

9. Diets, food trends, #cleaneating: NOT OVER IT

I haven’t really tried the clean eating thing because I couldn’t really be bothered. It would probably benefit me more having a plant based diet overall and eating less fat, sugar and salt, but wouldn’t that benefit pretty much everyone? I’m not over it because I think I’ll always have a slightly unhealthy relationship to food which will need to be controlled and managed somehow, and it may take a ‘diet’ to do that.

10. Negativity: NOT OVER IT

Unfortunately, not over this, as there will always be an ebb and flow of negativity in my life that I won’t feel I can get over (at the time) but probably need that dose to learn a lesson in life. I don’t think life should be too negative, but there are always going to be negatives but in embracing that, you’ll also appreciate the positives far more.

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